Hello dear friends.
Let me begin by saying thank you for reading and please follow me if you are interested in hearing the very bazaar and entertaining stories of my dating saga.
Alright, enough with that.  

I think today I will regale you with a particularly funny story. 
I am going to skip down to #4 on the list, just because I think it will amuse.

Now, Harvard's name is derived from, you guessed it, where he went to school-- well grad school anyway. He was going to Harvard for Archaeology, which is a pretty uncommon major these days. Uncommon was his major and uncommon he was... 

I am going to start off by saying that he seemed pretty hilarious in the beginning, which was why I started talking to him. He amused me by referencing the abnormally large squirrels walking around Harvard's campus and his very strange, but hilarious love for narwhals. If you don't know what that is-- (because I didn't) here is a link to one: http://tshirtvortex.net/wp-content/uploads/Narwhal-Unicorn-of-the-Sea.jpg

Okay, so now that we have that understanding, we can say that he was a little off the beaten track kind of guy-- right? He was funny-- his humor was weird, but funny none-the less. He was smart too, he could read and speak over 5 languages and had an understanding of ancient ruins--which being an architecture geek, was fascinating to me. So there was a little background on Mr. Harvard.

Well, we set up our first date and planned on having it at the Museum of Fine Arts, (which is an amazing museum, by the way). 
So we met up and chatted as we walked around the museum. At that point in time, Degas had his exhibit at the museum, which turned out to be pretty spectacular. It all started with his comments about the paintings. He told me he didn't know much about art and he wanted me to teach him... OKAY.... TEACH YOU? Like I am some kind of art critic or something. I pretty much walk up to every painting/drawing and say "PRETTY" and you want ME to teach you? Yeaahh... okay Harvard... you're the one in the Ivy League.
So FUNNY. After the museum laugh, we went to dinner, a sushi restaurant nearby.
As all of us sushi-lovers know, it isn't too expensive if you order the rolls. He had mentioned this so I figured, since it was the first date, HE would pay. 
Now, I am not a high-maintenance person-- I don't expect expensive dinners or shiny things (though they are nice). I understood that he was in graduate school and still a student, so he didn't have much money. I think that on the first date, if he asks you, he must pay. 
I think it's just my personal preference. Unfortunately Mr. Harvard did not pay, and expected that I pay for half. (This was -20 points in my book). 

The date ended and I called my mom afterwards. 
I explained to her that he didn't pay for dinner and she thought I was being ridiculous because he was a poor grad student and, how could he afford an expensive dinner like that? and I shouldn't say goodbye just yet. 
SO... I heeded my mother's advice, and arranged another date. This time, I suggested a movie and takeout at my place. Here we go, now he has no excuse to be cheap.
Before I tell you this next part of the story, let me just say that Harvard seemed to be a likeable, nice, respectable man. I never thought I would ever encounter someone who would act like this EVER in my life. Date #1 was okay-- which is why I gave him another chance to prove himself. 

Now that I have given you that warning, I will start date #2. It started by meeting up with him at the T-stop (train stop) by my apartment. As we were walking back, I mentioned to him that my car was parked nearby (Big mistake). After telling him this he asked why I had made him take the train from one of the surrounding sub cities of Boston and insisted that I drive him home later. This, rubbed me the wrong way. I was annoyed that he would insist. How dare you!?  UGH. 

It got worse. 

We chose a movie once we returned to my apartment and promptly sat down and watched. He brought a bottle of wine for dinner later, which I thought was very nice. (redemption points there-- I love wine). 

When the movie was over he asked "So, what are you making for dinner?" 

..........what? I'm sorry--- what? There was no hesitation in his voice. 
I could not comprehend. It wasn't something I had ever encountered. 

what? You want me to make you dinner? 
It's like inviting yourself over to someone's apartment, and then inviting them to make you dinner.

---So let me just stop and freeze this situation in your mind. Guy comes over, guy expects you to drive him home, guy expects you to make dinner, and guy EXPECTS you to clean up....
I simply was not brought up that way. 

OKAY HARVARD. I'll make you dinner. I'll make you pasta-from-a-box and jarred sauce dinner. That was a cooking F*** you in my mind, though, I still think now, looking back, that I was being too kind.

We opened the bottle of wine and each had a glass while we were eating the gourmet meal that I prepared. It was a quiet, and very awkward dinner. 
I mean, how the hell could you talk to someone who expects you to be his housewife on the second date. HELL no. 
While finishing up my pasta, I mentioned to Harvard-cheap face that I was tired and that I needed to get to bed (even though it was 8 pm) and that I had a lot of work to do the next day. 
He agreed to leave after suggesting a grownup sleepover and a very taken-aback turn-down from his NEVER-housewife. 

This is my favorite part of the story. Might I remind you that he brought a bottle of red wine and we drank some at dinner. 
While packing his things for the car ride home, Mr. Harvard re-corked the wine bottle and stood ready to go.... with wine in hand...

I had lost all my patience for him. So, I promptly asked " Are you really taking that with you?" At this point, I was dreaming of coming back to my apartment after bringing him home and drinking the rest of the wine by myself-- because, let's face it-- I deserved it... 

He laughed. HE LAUGHED! And made his way towards the door. 
So, I drove him home with his bottle of cheap wine and his expectant attitude never to speak to him again.

The moral of the story is (for me at least) don't go out on dates with guys who ask you to dinner and expect you to pay on the first date because most likely they'll want you rubbing their feet the next time they see you.

Cheers!